Series: Strange Aeon (AU)
Notes: Trying to get back into writing. 4 drabbles and a double-drabble.
Summary: Being John Sheppard's exciting trip to investigate the Ancient Death Star Satellite.
John should have known better than to fly this mission. "Check out the possible Ancient Death Star" sounded cool at first, but then the reality of being trapped in a tin can with three scientists for ten hours set in. Three scientists who insisted on arguing with each other and the scientists on the other jumper the entire way. John should have taken a hint from Teyla. "Communing with my people" his ass. She was just avoiding what she'd recognized as an excruciating trip. Next time he'd send Ford alone. He was a marine - he could make do.
"What do you mean, they get to dock first?" McKay snapped. "And why are you making these decisions in the first place?"
"Because Simpson's the actual aerospace engineer," John said. "And because I'm in charge."
"Which makes no sense at all. I'm the chief scientist. You're just a minion of the military commander. The backup military commander."
"Don't you hate spacesuits anyway?"
"That's beside the point."
"Whatever. Pilot chooses the music and makes the rules. Why don't you scan the planet to pass the time or something."
"Sure, scan the crater-covered desert planet. That'll be interesting for all of - huh."
"Wow," Gaul said. "This is amazing. I mean, the satellite is great, but an intact Wraith spaceship? What an opportunity."
"I have to admit, this alone might justify your entire existence," McKay said. "Let's see... engines are that way, so a power source is probably nearby. Come on, Major, less dawdling and more leading the way."
"Oh, sure, let's run into the creepy flying vampire lair. Maybe we can split the party while we're at it," John said. "We're not going anywhere until we radio Atlantis and get at least another jumper full of marines."
"That'll take ten hours!" Gaul protested.
"Too bad. I'm not going in there without backup - and I mean more backup than Ford and even more geeks." Knowing John's luck, someone would get lost or fall down the ship's well even if nothing ate them.
"Major," McKay said, "we scanned the ship on approach. There's nothing living within a hundred miles."
"You do remember that hibernating Wraith don't show up on life-signs detectors, right? Unless that's different between the handheld and jumper versions."
"I wonder if Simpson's got the satellite's life support working yet," McKay said after a beat.
"Let's go ask," Gaul said.
John changed his evaluation of the outbound trip from "excruciating," to merely "painful." After all, he had to leave room on the scale for the return flight home.
"Abrams," McKay suddenly said, "if you don't stop shaking your leg, I'm going to zat you. If you need to go, just do it."
"Sorry," Abrams said, "but it's kind of... well, creepy back there."
Not that he'd admit it, but John would probably have trouble pissing three feet from a Wraith corpse too.
"It's dead. Man up and get over it."
A moment later, the Wraith punched through the bulkhead door.
"Someone call for a tow?" Cam asked from the rescue jumper.
"Shut up and turn on the tractor beam," John griped.
"It's not a -"
"I know, McKay!"
"So I was wondering," Cam said, "which one of you made that girly shriek over the comms?"
"It sounded like a four-part harmony to me," Zelenka said.
"This is your fault," McKay muttered. "Next time, try not to shoot all the irreplaceable electronics."
"Excuse me for being startled by the undead Wraith," John snapped.
"You should have killed it right to begin with!"
"God, will you two shut up already?" Gaul said.
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